Queen Of My Life

Queen Of My Life

Rebecca Nicholls is a London-based global entrepreneur, and investor in humanity. Rebecca supports a world where we can all live harmoniously sharing knowledge, helping, supporting and loving each other. A humanitarian and an activist, she is passionate about serving others. She writes a blog on her website and posts regularly on her Instagram account. She is a success coach for other female entrepreneurs and is fully supportive of empowering women. 

I am a very open and raw woman who wears the heart on the sleeve and isn’t afraid to show emotion. Believes in rainbows, and unicorns.

I am currently single. I love being single. I think once you reach a place where you are just so comfortable with who you are, you just don’t care about being in a relationship for the sake of it. Unless it ignites my soul, I would rather be without it.

I recently broke up with my boyfriend. There was various reasons why we ended up uncoupling. We make mistakes in relationships because we are growing always, that’s the whole point of evolution. But sometimes we forget that we aren’t at the same point in our lives. Some want more and others are unsure. It should be clear from the beginning what your intentions are. But yet we learn and we grow. We get better each day.

There were things that happened in the relationship. Mistakes were made by me and there was unforgiveness, you just can’t move forward in relationship when one of you is living in the past. I learned from my mistakes and so therefore I won’t repeat them in my next relationship, it’s just a shame it ended how it did, because we did love each other. It hurt me a lot coming out of that relationship and six months on, I still feel it some days. But I have great friendships and a wonderful son and an awesome life, so I never really complain.

As it stands I am not really ready to start dating per say. I have my autobiography coming out and I am just too focused. I know once the book is done then maybe I can get myself back out there. But also it’s important to just have to time to reflect and heal from a relationship and that’s where I am at right now. Working on me and growing stronger in myself every day.

Being alone teaches you so much, and it allows you to grieve and process, reflect and grow from that. It allows you to find yourself again. We give so much of ourselves in relationships we ca often lose our identity. It’s kinda like coming back to yourself. I believe it’s necessary; we have plenty of time to recover from relationships. Rebounds just don’t work.

I think communication is challenging when we don’t understand each other’s love languages. Often things are misinterpreted or assumptions are made. Things are unsaid or unclear. It’s important to be heard and to listen to your partners in relationships so you have clear understanding where you are both at. Having dialogue and often and expressing your feelings is important and should get practiced. Often people keep a lot of stuff inside and it causes a chaotic vibration in the relationship. When we can get this communication thing then it makes our relationships work so much easier.

Just be 100% honest and authentic from day one. Maybe you’re unsure about a relationship, maybe there’s people lurking in the background. Maybe you wanna just have your options open, if you don’t wanna commit then don’t. It’s all about just being you, because when you are you are happier and they know where they stand.

I like different, I like exciting. I like to try different experiences. The point of dating is just that. You wanna enjoy the experience of the date as well as the company. I like fine dining and cocktails, you can never go wrong. Tall dark and handsome please.

I have been on many dates but the worse one and it stands so clear in my mind. I met a guy on an online dating website and he said we were going to dinner. I put in the postcode and then I was taken to a hotel and it was cheap and dingy. Near Kings Cross. I got mad because I was. “This guy is tripping, who does he think I am?” I told him I wasn’t having it, if we weren’t going to eat, I was leaving because I was hungry and we had arranged a dinner date. I left and obviously never spoke to him again. There are some weirdos out there, I am just glad I am a strong woman, not afraid to use her voice.

I was proud of that moment where I told jerk guy to fuck off! It made me feel powerful. Because no human being deserve to be treated like that, again it comes down to intention. It’s important to make that clear and not make any assumptions when dating.

100% I speak my mind. I don’t really hold back. I am sure of who I am so therefore I really just express myself where necessary. In the past I haven’t been so clear and it’s messed things up. I learned from that and so therefore I know now I won’t waste anyone’s time and they won’t be wasting mine. I learned that I am worthy and if something sits uncomfortably with you, speak out.

I continue to learn through experience and failures. I have also gone through a whole transition of self-discovery and self-awareness and so I transformed who I am on the inside. I was attracting men because I am an attractive woman, but I wasn’t attracting the right man based on who I was. At the time I really didn’t know who I was. I had to uncover some ugly truths and accept them and move past that and become the woman I am today. This is one of the main reasons I write and share my story with other women.

Through every dating experience I have come to understand so much about myself and that’s the point. I have learned mostly not to ever settle. If it really doesn’t sit right within your soul, then it’s just not for you. If you have to prove yourself then it’s not for you. If it doesn’t make you feel warm and fuzzy and beautiful on the inside it’s not for you. I think over the years I accepted being in toxic relationships because I had low self-worth and I was battling mental health issues.

I didn’t really recognize at the time what I was doing and wasn’t entirely honest with myself along the way. It’s taken me 36 years to become this woman. I am glad I found her. My advice to any woman would be find yourself before you go looking for anyone to complete you. You were born a whole human being not a half. We “relate” to each other and we learn and we grow either together or apart. But we define who we are through every relationship good and bad.

I am open and honest it’s a rare quality these days. I think we need to show these qualities from day one though so that there is no confusion. It’s all coming back to that important word “intention.” Come to me correctly and just be you, I respect that highly.

One Comments

  1. Enjoyed reading your words! Thank you and keep it up!

    Reply
    Rebekah McCain - January 27, 2017

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