Since I have been writing letters to my nieces dishing out relationship advice about men, obtained from my years in the trenches, I feel compelled to write to you, my nephew, about the nuances of women obtained from my years of being one.
It is time for me to sit down and write this letter, so that the day you set out in the world to find a boy you have the voice of reason whispering over your shoulder. Not that your mother isn’t a voice of reason, or your father for that matter. But they also run 26 kms up mountains for fun, and live without the Internet, so let’s be real; they are not completely sound of mind. I, on the other hand, have been up to my elbows in the dating scene for going on two decades now – egads, I am getting old. All the more critical it is for me to bequeath my wisdom before dementia sets in.
You are very young right now, but the time will arrive when, as an adult, you will wade in the murky waters of blind dating. Given that I am your worldly, free-spirited Aunt, who has spared no expense in preliminary research on the subject, I offer here some illuminations in order to prepare you for such pivotal life matters.